He doesn't go into details, but when the actor had a bad stage debut it was the last straw.
After that early performance bombed, he walked out of the theatre and wandered in a downward spiral of self doubt that transformed itself into deep despair.
Eventually, he came to understand one thing about what had to happen next. As he put it: "If I’m going to die, I might as well go over toward the lake and float a bit." And he meant 'float a bit, first'. Then he started to head for Lake Michigan.
By the way, if you feel this way, you're not alone. To get healthy again, start here: Suicide Hotlines and Prevention Resources Around the World.
What Bill Murray saw.
As luck, or fate, would have it, his steps brought him past The Art Institute of Chicago. This was a very good thing because, back in 1934, a contest had been sponsored by the Chicago Daily News to find 'the most beloved artwork in America'. This was lavishly revealed by First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt at the Chicago World's Fair to be a painting that she held as her own personal favourite.
The painting had had its struggles too. Its subject matter was... well....
Between winning the accolades of America in the 30s, and the moment a shattered young performer, Bill Murray, stopping in his tracks, stars had to align. For example, the painting had to survive the Art Director of its own Art Institute calling it lowbrow and lobbying for it to be removed from display, post haste. Its subject matter wasn't worthy of the title 'most beloved'. After the First Lady and America bestowed that honour, the painting might have been taken down stuffed a corner till it learnt its place.
But that day, a young legend lucked out. The painting had survived a storm of controversy, a sneering Art Director, and his plans to take her down.
That meant Bill Murray could wander in and see her.
She spoke to him, immediately.
What the lark said.
'The Song of the Lark' is a painting of a young, shoeless, peasant girl, sickle in hand. She walks through a hand-shorn field as the first light of dawn peeks over the horizon. Rather than depicting a singing lark, many say the painting demonstrates its power on the strong, young labourer. It can be argued that she is not breathing heavily with work already done, but is, in fact, the lark herself, head held high as she sings.
In moments, Murray, who had been at the end of his rope, found his reserves. He explains, "I thought, 'Well there's a girl who doesn't have a whole lot of prospects, but the sun's coming up anyway and she's got another chance at it.' So I think that gave me some sort of feeling that I too am a person and I get another chance everyday the sun comes up."
She reminded him he was human and had another chance... if he could move past moment that was trying its hardest to extinguish him.
Wrapped up in this 'lowbrow' painting, 'unworthy of its honours', is the steely resilience of a peasant girl showing up early every day, for her own life. For many, even hard labour can't wrench the song from her throat.
At his lowest, Bill Murray was walking right beside her, with not many prospects, but still choosing to show up for his life.
What is art for?
For collectors, for society, and for individuals, art can be a reminder of deeply held values. Art is for moments like these -- when it reaches into our lives, reaffirms our humanity, and shows us a pathway forward, sometimes out of our darkest hours. It’s not just about prestige or beauty, though that's rolled up in the experience of art too, it’s about the unspoken promise that, like the sun in 'The Song of the Lark', a new day always rises.
Art doesn't exist by chance. There is something the artist keeps saying about the world and it is up to the collectors to listen and choose the messages they want to bring into their lives.
In Bill Murray's case, the message was survival and resilience in the face of long odds. In your case it may be something different entirely. But when you look at the artists of Eclipse, I invite you to pause a moment and listen, imagine your future if you embraced the messages of these artists.
If you're listening, the art may speak to you. More -- though the artist may not be aware yet, the art might be made for you.
I have faith in one thing: You'll know it when you see it.
I sure do. :)
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